Sure, it's maybe a little odd to review beer on a family-based site. However, this isn't really a review of Miller Lite. It's a review of the marketing of the new bottle that they've produced. I showed up at a local bar that was holding an exhibition of sorts, selling and giving away Miller Lite in its new bottle. I was told there would be freebies and that the guys from my baseball team should show up. Neither one happened for me, and the beer bottle itself is not some kind of life-changing design.

Miller Lite's New Bottle 2013I got to the bar early enough to be asked if I wanted a drink. I asked about the promotion, but apparently the freebies had yet to be distributed, so I got to pay $3.00 for a new bottle of Miller Lite. It looked like a bottle. The bottle said Miller Lite. The beer tasted like Miller Lite. I wrote a little and waited for the freebies. 

The Miller Lite girls, wearing prom-night teased hair and yoga pants, began making the rounds. My bottle was nearly empty, but they walked right past me. They cavorted with the other tables of patrons, gave out free beer, went back to get more, and passed me again, so I ordered a better-tasting beer. People were encouraged to go over to an area where there was a camera set up in order to give their opinions on the new bottle in the hopes that they would be featured in an ad that will run during the Super Bowl. 

Eventually, a couple of the marketing folks made the rounds, again holding several beers ready to distribute. The man, who looked like Moby (the singer, not the dick) also walked right past me and asked some others if they got their new bottles of beer. His Farrah Fawcett co-worker also ignored me. I found the whole free beer distribution to be disturbing, but I hung around a little longer to see if a couple of teammates might show up. They did, and were immediately given free beer.

I guess this is more a review of the marketing techniques of Miller-Coors rather than a critique of the bottle. Rob said he liked the bottle, but he also liked the swirly bottle, too, so maybe he just likes beer bottles. I suggested that in the hundreds or thousands of years we've been making bottles, maybe this was not anything of even borderline importance. Yet, there we all were, getting our free samples or impatiently waiting for them, giving trumped-up opinions of said bottle to the camera in the hopes that we'd be seen lying by millions watching a football game, and generally playing into the propaganda. 

Later, as I was leaving, I asked for a hat from one of the cake-faced Miller Lite Girls. She told me that I wasn't really drinking Miller Lite and she wasn't supposed to give me one. She gave in and handed me a hat, anyhow, but it seemed a bit small of her. Then again, I guess if Miller Lite is trying to capture a bigger share of the beer market by redesigning the bottle, the folks over there are probably used to thinking small. 

 

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