As an unemployed teacher looking for my big writing break, I've decided to use an online tool that promises to give me access to Hollywood with my screenplays. While Virtual Pitch Fest does seemingly have a lot of potential buyers available for me to pitch to, I hope it ends up being more of a pitch fest than a bitch fest.

 

My plan is to pitch Eighth Grade Ends to the various production companies and agents. While I have two other screenplays written, I think it's the most marketable to a mass audience.

COMPANY QUERY RESPONSE REASON ANALYSIS
Level 1 Entertainment - could use Passive Ninja makeover query1 No thanks, but we appreciate the submission We’re not interested in the subject matter at this time. The trailers of their stuff I watched were pretty lowbrow. Did they want something dumb-sounding?
 Anonymous Content  query2  No thanks, but we appreciate the submission  Nothing personal, it just didn't grab us.  I looked over my description for the plot, and that might be what needs to grab them more. I just want to say, "Read the damn script because it's good!"
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         

Query letter #1

Dear Joe,

My name is Brian Jaeger and I am a new writer who has written a script with my best friend Casey Palbicki. Both of us have been busy raising families and accruing debt over the past decade after having finished Eighth Grade Ends - The World Probably Doesn’t around the time we finished college.

Eighth Grade Ends is a coming of age comedy with some similarities to Superbad. Most of the overlapping elements are thematic or tonal, so our movie is still quite original. Our screenplay is more of a middle school version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, minus the sex drama, or Major League, minus most of the baseball. I can see similarities to the humor in Grandma’s Boy, as well.

Casey is an eighth grader who has been in love with Mary for several years, but he’s had trouble getting her to notice him. He is also clueless that his only shot at true love exists in Mary’s best friend Michelle. Brian is Casey’s best friend who attends the public school. While he offers sound advice most of the time, Brian himself is clueless when it comes to the ladies. Though almost every discussion is about girls and most bad decisions they make are about trying to get girls to notice them, they still have a hard time dealing with meaningful relationships. Then again, it's eighth grade, so love is supposed to be improbable as one stumbles through such iconic and mildly illegal firsts as drinking, watching adult videos, driving Grandpa’s hooptie, and seeking revenge.

This project can appeal to those in their thirties or well beyond who are trying to remember what it was like falling in love with a different person every few weeks in middle school. It's about the desire to totally lose your innocence but not knowing how it works or why you'd rather do it than play video games with your friends, which resonates with guys of all ages. The project would appeal to high school or college kids the same way those kids enjoy The Breakfast Club today as it represents a world both foreign yet familiar, and, of course, funny. I believe you will enjoy this script as much as I do, and thank you for your time and consideration.

 

Query 2

Dear Tariq,

My name is Brian Jaeger and I am a new writer who has written two screenplays with my best friend Casey Palbicki. Both of us have been busy raising families and accruing debt over the past decade after having finished Eighth Grade Ends - The World Probably Doesn’t around the time we finished college.

Eighth Grade Ends is a coming of age comedy with some similarities to Superbad, but most of the overlapping elements have to do with theme or tone, so our movie is still quite original. The reason we wrote the screenplay was because I met a girl at UW-Eau Claire who said Steven Spielberg was her family friend and was looking for a coming of age screenplay. Unfortunately, I never ran into her again after that, so I'm not sure if that would have helped us much. Anyhow, our screenplay is more of a middle school version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, minus the sex drama, or Major League, minus most of the baseball.

Casey is an eighth grader who has been in love with Mary for several years, but he’s had trouble getting her to notice him. He is also clueless that his only shot at true love exists in Mary’s best friend Michelle. Brian is Casey’s best friend who attends the public school. While he offers sound advice to Casey most of the time, Brian himself is also clueless when it comes to the ladies. Though almost every discussion is about girls and most bad decisions they make are about trying to get girls to notice them, they still have a hard time dealing with meaningful relationships. Then again, it's eighth grade, so love is supposed to be improbable as one stumbles through such iconic and mildly illegal firsts as drinking, watching adult videos, driving Grandpa’s hooptie, and seeking revenge.

This project can appeal to those in their thirties or well beyond who are trying to remember what it was like falling in love with a different person every few weeks in middle school. It's about the desire to totally lose your innocence but not knowing how it works or why you'd rather do it than play video games with your friends, which resonates with guys of all ages. The project would appeal to high school or college kids the same way those kids enjoy The Breakfast Club today as it represents a world both foreign yet familiar, and, of course, funny. I believe you will enjoy this script as much as I do, and thank you for your time and consideration.

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